Monthly Archives: April 2014

Judging and accepting the fact that you are being judged

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Citing a quote by Clinton Kelly about how ubiquitous the characteristic of judgment is and how you can channel the inevitable fact that you, human being, will have an opinion (judgment) about everything.

Like it or not, we human beings are judge-y. Judging others is written into our DNA. Some of us wouldn’t be here today, watching TV, if our ancestors were unable to discern a good guy from a bad guy. You know, let a bad guy into your cave at night, you might not wake up in the morning. We’re still an “us vs. them” bunch. Just open the newspaper and it’s all tribal-based finger-pointing.

Can you consciously decide not to judge others based on their appearance? Of course. But it’s not easy. When you’re drooling over Jon Hamm in a well-cut suit, you’re judging. (Guilty.) When you’re fantasizing about having a sleepover with Jennifer Lawrence, you’re judging. (Guilty.)

Based on a stranger’s appearance, we know almost immediately whether we want to get closer to him or her or farther away. You’re judging people all day without realizing it: Is that a good guy or a bad guy? Would I ever in a million years consider dating that person? So, the game is on. You have the choice to play it on your own terms, on society’s terms, or to opt out all together. – See more at: http://damemagazine.com/2014/04/17/dont-hate-clinton-kelly-because-youre-beautiful#sthash.IZPsvWkT.dpuf

*I’ve always disliked when people cite Matthew 7:1-3 – “Judge not that ye be not judged” only in order to shut down or shame someone else for having a negative opinion about whatever is under discussion, but not to spark a conversation with true analysis.  And I’ve always wished that more times people would stop and consider what they think is praise worthy (another form of judgment) as well.  

Whose village? When do we care about the children?

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Nope, I have not seen the sex tape created by Mimi Faust and her current boyfriend, Nikko. Not particularly interested in spite of the hype of the shower curtain and the importance of buying proper shower equipment.

Anyway, I was more intrigued by the “what about her child” argument against the sex tape.  Intrigued because I’m curious about what society – or a certain segment of society – thinks is appropriate for children to learn about sex, sexual performances and who is allowed to perform (teach) them.

Not to be shady, I am a Bey fan myself, but I distinctly remember a large vocal defense of her releasing more explicit sexual material not being harmful to children, because well, 1. kids shouldn’t be watching her videos/songs anyway and 2. it’s up  to the individual parent to inform, prepare their children.  The implication being that it’s not up to other people (the collective) to raise and be responsible to other’s people’s children.  So, why are so many suddenly concerned about the welfare and emotional well being of Mimi’s child.

I assume this “protective urge” is driven from the low opinion people have of actual pornography and its performers (people consume/view pornography but they don’t respect it.)
Vs. if Mimi had made a very sexually explicit musical video, more people (maybe) would have found the video more palatable/respectable. 

Because of the buzz from this video, I do wander if Mimi has talked to her child, what she has said to her if she has.  But then, I wander if the parents (Stevie J and Mimi) have talked to the child at all about sex considering the show’s and their own public antics.  By now, I would think that the child has more liberal views on sexuality. 

Too Scandal-ized

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I stopped watching Scandal.

There I “said” it, I’ve rewritten my opening more than a few times just struggling to put those words out into the universe.  After noticing the serious lack of dramatic shows featuring professional Black women, to finally be given one and yet to be MORE than ready not to view the show – well, let’s just say as someone who believes in supporting what you believe should flourish, I have struggled with this.  

I jumped on the bandwagon late – I caught the first season of Scandal on Netflix (I think binging is one of the best ways to watch capital D. drama.)  Oh, what’s that Olivia? More tears over the passionate, crazy, angry (good grief, is that relationship anything other than tears and sex?)Another character’s life has been threatened (or finally been assassinated, did not see that one coming). Huck is ADDICTED to murder?   Never a dull moment, always something about to happen, WHEW the show’s drama left me breathless. 

*Sigh* But melodrama leaves me tired after awhile, one shocking moment dissolves into the next until they become indistinguishable from one another.  The constant need to keep the waters churning means that very few problems actually get solved permanently (too ironic for a show about a professional fixer). It’s repetitive as heck after awhile.  Besides, I feel slightly annoyed  irritated beyond belief when characters remain in so called untenable situations that could be solved by simply walking away. 

Walk away. 

Much of the apathy that melodrama eventually incites in me could be solved if series runners would realize that this is a genre best enjoyed in short doses.  Always leave with your audience wanting more.  It would have been so much sweeter, and hotter if Scandal were the one to walk away from me instead of me turning off my laptop.